Food Rules. Number 2 - CHOCOLATE BARS

When is a chocolate bar a chocolate bar and not a chocolate biscuit? This is a question which has plagued mankind ever since...erm....well, certainly since I've been alive.

I've had many a heated debate with friends, family and work colleagues over what counts as a chocolate bar, and what is a chocolate biscuit. For me, it's actually very simple - but for others there appears to be great confusion. Friends of mine are adamant the likes of Penguins, Gold Bars, Breakaways, Kit Kats etc are chocolate biscuits and not bars. But to me, that is just preposterous. A chocolate digestive or a chocolate hob-nob - now THESE are chocolate biscuits. What's the difference, I hear you ask?

Well, it's easy, to be honest. All you need to do, whenever you're eating your chocolate based snack, is ask yourself the following four questions. I guarantee you that once you have honestly answered the four questions, you will have a thoroughly reliable and comprehensive answer:

1. Is the item bar shaped? 
By 'bar shaped', I mean, essentially, two longer sides and with two shorter ends. So - think of the shape of a Mars Bar, and then allow variations on that theme. Twix, Curly Wurly, Penguin, Flake - all tecnically bar shaped. If it has equal length sides, all the way around, then its a square. If it's round, it's a circle. Therefore, not a bar. Simple!

2. Is the filling - whatever it is - entirely encased in solid milk or dark chocolate?

Again - pretty straightforward. If the bar shape is completely covered in chocolatey goodness, then it's halfway there to being a chocolate bar! This is an important distinction though - and it does rule some important contenders out. For example, the Cadbury's Brunch Bar is a delicious snack, and does have a chocolatey bottom and sides. However, the top of the bar is entirely uncovered by chocolate, and therefore it misses out on the distinction of being a chocolate bar. 

You'll also notice that I've specified that it must be milk or dark chocolate. Why? White chocolate is NOT actually chocolate. It doesn't contain cocoa solids - despite having its origin from the cocoa plant bean. It's made of the butter rather than the solids of the bean. Unlucky....

3. Is it individually wrapped?

A huge one this. This gets rid of a lot of contenders which might have met the criteria of 1 and 2 above. Matchmakers, Chocolate Fingers etc - they're not in their own individual wrappers, so they can't be chocolate bars. Some may point out the anomalies here - Twix, Drifter, Twirl etc - all have TWO bars inside their wrappers. Well, I suppose every rule has its exceptions. I think two pieces can be contained within one wrapper. A Twix with only one finger just wouldn't really feel 'right'. 

4. Is the item 3 inches (or longer) in length?
This rule is important. Some people might look at the first three questions, and then pick up a Quality Street sweet - such as a toffee finger or fudge - and note that it is  bar shaped, entirely covered in chocolate, and individually wrapped. "Aha!", they might exclaim. "A chocolate bar!!!". Well, they'd be wrong. Quality Street, Roses, Miniature Heroes, Celebrations etc - they're sweets. They're obviously sweets! If you asked someone to buy you a bar of chocolate and they presented you with a toffee finger, you'd laugh in their face and send them away to rectify the situation. For a chocolate bar to truly be a chocolate bar, it ought to be around 3 inches or more in length. A Penguin is about right.

So - if you're holding a chocolatey snack in your hand, and you've asked yourself those 4 questions, and the answer to all of those 4 questions is 'Yes' - then CONGRATULATIONS!! You've got yourself a chocolate bar! Enjoy :-)